Eulogy on Akunadin
by Simone Landon
Summary: Why, exactly, does Seto not know that Akunadin is his father? What happened that required the man to break all ties with his son?


Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! belongs to Kazuki Takahashi.

I've been asked several times why Akunadin is my favorite character from the Memory World arc. Consider this my answer.

The idea came during a class discussion on Soren Kierkegaard's "Eulogy on Abraham" from Fear and Trembling--hence the rip-off title and the reference.  
~~~~~~~~~~~

`

_Abraham was willing to sacrifice his son Isaac to prove his faith in God. Akunadin was willing to sacrifice himself to protect his son Seto's sanity._

_Which will you call the better father?_

`

It felt as though he were crying.

He likely was--the pain in and around his eye was as though something were trying to claw his skull open, leaving him nauseated and light-headed.  One hand was covering his left eye, as if that would somehow decrease the agony, and it was the feeling of liquid dribbling over his fingers that caused him to have such a thought.  However, the vitreous fluid and blood trickling down his cheek did not have the same consistency as tears.

Akunadin realized that he had fallen to his knees.  A pain--smaller, so much smaller than that in his mind--in his leg let him know that he had fallen on top of the knife he had used to gouge out his eye before forcing the new one in.

Akunadin shook violently at another spasm of dark pain within his head, as if the Item sensed his thoughts about it and responded to them.

_This price . . . I cannot bear this price_. . . .

No.  He must bear it.  He was the one who had chosen to create the Millennium Items, using Kuru Eruna to fulfill the requirements of the alchemy--it was only fitting that he take the Item which demanded the highest sacrifice from its bearer.

And also . . . if the story was true. . . . _Even if it's a foolish wish_. . . .

A drop of liquid from one of the small trails running down the back of his hand hit the ground.  It stood out despite the noise of his harsh pants and sounded eerily loud in the darkness--he had not yet opened his remaining eye.

Akunadin braced a hand on the floor, the other still covering the side of his face, and attempted to straighten himself.  The nausea increased suddenly, forcing him to wrench his hand away from the Eye and brace it on the wall as an extra support.  The stone felt slippery beneath his palm, and in a corner of his mind Akunadin wondered just how much blood he had lost.  He drew in a ragged breath and held it, demanding himself to maintain through the nausea and pain.

In the sudden still quiet, he heard someone else's trembling breaths.

Startled, Akunadin opened his eye.

His son stood in the doorway, his eyes wide and frightened as though he were seeing a monster or a particularly gruesome ka.  

_No . . . Seto, don't look at me like that . . . I'm not a monster_. . . .

Another jolt of pain tore a new shudder out of him, and the boy began to quake as well.  Trying to push aside the anguish in his head, Akunadin reached out a shaky hand.  "Seto. . . ."

Seto backed away until he hit the opposite wall of the corridor outside the door.  He froze there, shivering violently, unable to tear his eyes aside or to get enough breath to even scream.

Akunadin could only watch in horror.  _No . . . don't look at me like that. . . . Seto, I'm your father!!_

Without his consent the Millennium Eye began to work, and Akunadin buried his face in his hands as his son's terror spilled into his mind.  _No . . . **no**!_

He tried to speak again, but his throat would not work.  He swallowed, and the action caused him another contraction of pain, but he managed to find his voice.  "Kemsit. . . . Kemsit," he called.  There was no answer, and Akunadin forced himself to be louder.  "Kemsi--!"  His voice cracked before he could finish the name, and Akunadin's gaze fell back to the boy in the hallway.  Seto had sunk to the floor and pulled his legs up to his chest, still staring at him in fear.

"Husband?" a woman's voice called.  A moment he heard the sound of rapid footfalls and her say, "Seto! What's wro--?!"

Then Kemsit reached the doorway, turned, and saw him.

A sharp cry escaped her before she clamped her hands over her mouth.  At that, Akunadin curled his hands into fists.

A moment later, she reached out a hand and took a hesitant step forward.  "Akunadin. . . ."

"No!" he exclaimed sharply, looking aside.  The jerky movement made his head throb again, and he was wracked with another involuntary shudder.  "Take him away!"

Kemsit glanced back at her son, still sitting on the ground.  The boy had finally gotten his throat to work, and faint sobs were beginning to shake his body.  She looked back to Akunadin, horror and anxiety in her eyes.

"Take him away from here!"

Kemsit flinched at the pain in his voice.  Then she turned and lifted Seto into her arms, hiding his face in her chest as she ran from the room.  Akunadin soon heard her calling for a guard, ordering them to fetch one of the palace doctors.

Akunadin hit the ground with a fist before he bent over again, shaking almost uncontrollably.  _Seto_. . . .

It felt like he was crying.  
`

The guard brought a doctor immediately, and the man treated Akunadin's wound before having him taken to the hospital area.  Though King Akunamukanon was busy with the other priests, learning how to use the new Items for ka-summoning, he spent the night sitting by his brother's bedside.

Seven days later, Akunadin was fully recovered and stood with the other six priests as they watched the foreign army ride down to attack the palace.

~~~

The palace and the surrounding city had been evacuated once the army began to draw close, because there had still been the risk that the Millennium Items would not work.  Returning the people to their homes was a slow process, but those who lived on the palace grounds were able to settle in sooner than the common folk.

Akunadin heard from one of the workers who carried the belongings of his wife and son as they returned that Seto had thrown a tantrum upon the sight of the palace and had done his best to escape.  He delayed entering his quarters until the night had fallen completely.

Kemsit was waiting in the front room.  She glanced up when he walked in, then shivered reflexively and looked back at the ground.  He paused and let the curtain drop closed behind him, and he tilted his face away before speaking.  ". . . Was the travel pleasant?  Are you well?"

"Yes . . ." she said quietly.  ". . . And I am glad you're safe."

". . . It was the only way to protect the kingdom!" he said suddenly, heatedly, needing to justify his actions to someone other than himself.  "I could do nothing else!  So many men were dying on the battlefields . . . and. . . . I had no choice.  I had to accept this contract with the Eye."

"I know, Akunadin," she said softly, looking up at him.  "I know how much you love Egypt."

Akunadin's shoulders slumped, and he made his way to the chair against the wall, sitting down heavily.  "But Seto. . . . One of the workers told me you had to drug him in order to return."

Kemsit stood from the place on the floor where she had been kneeling and moved to sit at his feet.  Akunadin noticed that she returned her gaze to the ground as she walked, rather than looking at his face, and he closed his eye.  "He is only a child.  He will understand eventually," she said, "when he grows older. . . ."

Akunadin kept his eye closed.  "What happened while I was absent?"

Her reply was slow.  "He . . . tried to run away.  Many times.  I could not always be with him, Akunadin, and he managed to get past the guards that were watching him. . . . Once he even climbed the cliffs before we found him, and I had to lure him back with water. . . ."  Her voice began to choke with suppressed sobs, and Akunadin placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.  "He wakes up every night, screaming about a demon and asking where you have gone. . . . What do I tell him, husband?  I don't understand what has happened!"

"I know," Akunadin said quietly, finally opening his eye and staring at the opposite wall.  "Don't worry any longer.  It will not last."

He hoped that she believed him, at least.  
`

Later that night, he awoke to Seto's cries.  He peered through the dimness and watched Kemsit leave the room to go soothe their son back to sleep, before he shifted onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.  When he heard her begin to sing a lullaby, he shut his gaze.

Akunadin found that he could no longer cry from the eye the Millennium Item was set in.

When Kemsit returned to the room some time later, Akunadin sat up and took her into his arms before making love to her.  Even though it was dark, he was careful to keep his right cheek pressed against her left one, so that she would not have to see the Eye.  When she fell asleep against him afterwards, he stayed awake, staring out the window and thinking.  
`

Once the stars and the darkness had shifted in such a way that he knew the dawn was coming, Akunadin woke his wife.

"I will leave."

Drowsy, Kemsit gazed at him in confusion.  "Where?  Why?  I thought the fighting was over now."

"It is better for Seto if I go," he said quietly.  "I want you to tell him that I died.  And keep telling that until he forgets what he saw, Kemsit.  It's the only way to stop this."

"No," she said desperately, "please Akunadin, you can't mean this!  Don't leave us . . . don't leave me."

He reached out and caressed her cheek.  "I will ask the king for different quarters here in the palace, and I will ensure that Seto never learns the truth.  I'll explain the trouble so that you will be able to remarry," he said softly.  "And I'll see that you are taken care of until then.  Don't worry."

She leaned into his palm, and he could feel the dampness of tears on her skin.  "I don't want to remarry, Akunadin. . . . Please, this is too drastic!  He will come to understand, I know he will!  Give it some time, I beg you, and he will realize you are still the same father to him."

He pulled his hand away and covered the Eye with it.  "No, he will not.  I can hear his mind, Kemsit . . . and he can only see me as. . . . This is the only solution.  As his mother, you must accept it."

She closed her eyes at that, and there was a long stretch of quiet until, finally, she nodded.  "If you will not change your mind, then I. . . ."  She broke off with a sob and did not finish the sentence.

Akunadin reached out and brushed the tears from her cheek.  "I am sorry to ask so much of you," he said quietly, before pulling her back into his arms.

He held her until the sky began to lighten, and then he dressed and left quietly so that Seto would not be awake to see him go.  Kemsit silently helped, placing his headdress over his hair without looking at his eyes.

He paused in the small hallway between the front room and the two bedrooms, before walking to the doorway of Seto's room.  He reached out to push the curtain aside, but when Kemsit touched his arm he pulled his hand back.  There was no point in going if he was seen.

Had he not paid enough for his crime by taking the Millennium Eye?  Did he have to give up his wife and his only son as well?  Did the price have to be so high?

Yes.  He had taken the Eye for a selfish reason as well as a selfless one.  Because if the story was true. . . . He had to pay the full price for so many people's lives, even if they were no more than grave thieves and desecrators.

If the story was true. . . . _Even if it's a foolish wish_. . . .

Akunadin placed his hand on the stone door frame of Seto's room and closed his eye.  _Even if it's a foolish wish . . . I'll just say it. . . ._

_Have my son become king_.

Akunadin turned and walked away.  He never returned.

He spoke to his brother as soon as possible, and that afternoon workers arrived to pack up the belongings he needed.  Kemsit had forced her sorrow down and oversaw the moving as calmly as if she were going with him.  Seto watched in confusion, and she did not answer his questions of where their things were being taken.

That night, Kemsit began to tell her son how his father had died proudly and honorably in one of the battles to protect the palace and the pharaoh.  In the story, she changed Akunadin's name.

~~~

Seasons passed.  Then years.

The two sorcerers who had aided Akunadin in the creation of the Millennium Items and who had also been designated as bearers passed their objects to the chosen successors and left the city permanently.  (The third sorcerer had committed suicide the night they returned from Kuru Eruna.)  Akunadin kept track of the two, and when news of their deaths came in--one from disease, and one from an accident--he was surreptitiously relieved that there was no one left who knew the secret of the Millennium Items' creation.  This relief overlooked a half-mad, teenaged grave robber who was beginning to be known in the farther provinces for his audacity and talent at thievery, but that was an honest mistake--Akunadin and Bakura had not yet met again.

The other original holders also handed down their Items on to others and moved off the palace grounds.  Shimon remained, but even he passed on the Key to Shada.  Only Akunadin continued to keep his Item, because the Eye was a burden that had to be born unto death.  He had known that when he chose it.

The tablets containing kas grew in number until finally the shrine of Ouiju was built on the palace grounds to contain them, and as he aged Akunadin was placed as the guardian of the tablets.

When Seto was fourteen and firmly set in the training for the religious orders, he was presented to Akunadin by his mother, with her solicitation to teach her son well.  Kemsit's smile was well-rehearsed, and Akunadin had learned how to keep his face from betraying his feelings.  Seto knelt before Akunadin and requested to learn the secrets of the priesthood from him, and when the young man looked into his eyes, Akunadin could tell that he did not remember him.

He agreed to Seto's request, and made the arrangements for him to be moved from his mother's quarters into those for the young men training for the priesthood.

That night Akunadin went to his room and wept from the eye that was still human.

He tried to avoid a bias, but he nevertheless found himself paying more attention to Seto than to any of the other students under his care; and Seto noticed and was determined to live up to everything he felt that Akunadin wished of him, whether the man spoke it aloud or not.  Akunadin made sure to constantly press the importance of clemency on the teenager, especially when he saw that Seto had come to value justice, and strength, and loyalty to Egypt and the palace more than mercy.

Akunadin still held to his wish for Seto to be king rather than Atemu--but he didn't want his son to follow his footsteps and to carry the weight of guilt as he did.

More time passed.  King Akunamukanon died of an illness, and his young, young--barely even a youth--son Atemu took his place.  Akunadin mourned his brother's death, but could not prevent the resentment in his chest as he saw Atemu wear the crown of Upper and Lower Egypt to perform the heb-sed ritual before taking the throne.

He watched with pride when Seto was named high priest of the Horus temple despite his young age, and when the day came that the bearer of the Millennium Rod went to the pharaoh and requested to pass his Item to another, Akunadin recommended that Seto be tested to see if he was worthy of the honor of being one of seven elite priests who guarded the palace.

At the ceremony to induct Seto into the elite, Shimon caught Akunadin's gaze and nodded in understanding.  The gesture conveyed more than enough.  Shimon was one of the few people still in the palace who knew the truth.

Soon after, Seto came to him and requested to be entrusted with the responsibility of protecting Ouiju shrine on the day that Akunadin grew weary of it and wished to finish his life in peace.  He reluctantly agreed to name Seto his successor, but only upon his death--partly because he knew that he could never pass the Eye to another before then and partly because he did not want to tie his son down to a lesser position when there was still a chance that he could take the throne.  Seto misinterpreted that reluctance.

The young priest already had a self-appointed duty to protect the pharaoh--even against Atemu's better judgment--in the same way as he believed his father had fallen in battle protecting the palace; and when his desire to prove to Akunadin that he would be a fitting guardian of the tablets mingled with that task, it drove Seto into a quest for stronger kas that eventually led him to Kisara.

Akunadin listened with mounting fear to Seto's reports on the ka-hunts that he was ordering and to the young priest's talk of creating a ka that surpassed the pharaoh's gods, unable to find a way to explain why he had hesitated to make Seto his heir and unwilling to drop his small hope that Seto **could** become greater than Atemu.  The best he could do was to urge Seto to free the prisoners he was taking in the name of justice; but Seto side-stepped his protests with words about loyalty and with a conviction that he was doing the right thing.

Akunadin spent many nights wondering whether if he ordered Seto to cease his actions as a father rather than a teacher, it might have an effect.  But each time he began to make up his mind to reveal their connection, he would remember the way Seto had stared at him on the day he saw Akunadin accepting the contract with the Eye.  So he said nothing, and soon Bakura returned to the palace and confronted him, and by then there was nothing to be done but let fate have its way.

In the end, Akunadin knew that Seto held him as a father in as many ways as were possible with the secret still between them . . . but it never ceased to hurt him that he could not treat his son as a son and not just a favored student.

That self-inflicted pain was one of the ways that the Millennium Eye eventually swayed his soul to evil and madness, and the servitude of Zork Necrophades.  Akunadin's own ambition was also a cause, and his horror at the wrongs--the ka-hunts--that were being done in the pharaoh's name was another.  The damage to his Item and the curse that Bakura placed upon him also pushed the man down the path of his destiny.

But most of the reasons that Akunadin gave in to the darkness involved Seto.

And it should be to his credit that even in the thrall of Necrophades, he never forgot his son.


End file.
